When we are confronted with loss we tend to go through a series of emotional responses, also known as The Five Stages of Grief. The stages are basically used as a guideline, because everyone experiences their loss differently.
As a pain management doctor, I realize now that I have more in common with some of my patients than I do with my family and friends. Most of them have had a tremendous amount of suffering in their lives. I have had loss as well with the death of my mother, and my wife. But now, with the death of my son, it's exponentially worse. The pain is absolutely unbearable.
When one feels that life has just beaten you senseless, with the losses and tragedy, it is harder and harder to remember the good in life. This crippling and paralyzing pain can make you feel like you don’t want to live anymore. But it just takes time. It's a dynamic process. We are just human.
Acceptance is not easy to find. It’s nearly impossible. I can not accept my son's death. I'll never fully be able to accept it. A better word is Acknowledgment. We can acknowledge. We can try to turn to the positives in life and choose to be strong. Stronger than you have ever been, but you have to choose it. Choose it for the memory of those you have lost. You must do it for them and those who are left.
Watch and listen to Dr. Marvin Faulkner's latest podcast, The Five Stages of Grief
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The stages of grief are well known. But it's not like you go through anger and then you're done with it. And then you experience forgiveness or acceptance … it’s a revolving door thats interchangeable.
But death is different for different people. It impacts us all differently. And it’s just something we all have to deal with. And we deal in our own way.
Most people find that it's a dynamic process. But the most important process is to remember yourself and who you were. Remember to be good to yourself. Remember the good times with your loved one. And realize that you did all that you can do. You loved deeply. And if you did that, and gave it all you had, then you did your best! And even though your loved one still went on, you will find peace in knowing who you are and who you were.
Find laughter again. Put a smile on your face. This all helps with the healing process, because this isn’t something we ever get over, it's just something we get through.
Watch and listen to Dr. Marvin Faulkner's latest podcast, Overcoming Grief.
]]>You know sometimes inspirational speakers don’t always feel inspirational, they aren’t always upbeat … but they are only human.
For me, I took some time before posting this podcast because lately I have felt deeply burdened and very weary. There have been some discouraging events and they have wounded me. Death has come calling on some patients of mine.
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You know sometimes inspirational speakers don’t always feel inspirational, they aren’t always upbeat … but they are only human.
For me, I took some time before posting this podcast because lately I have felt deeply burdened and very weary. There have been some discouraging events and they have wounded me. Death has come calling on some patients of mine.
At times we go through discouraging events and the weight can be hard to bear. The belief in a higher power and hanging on to a sense of purpose or hope is the best option. I think about inspirational songs and lyrics, and it helps shift my mindset.
Even in the darkest of times, we can still embrace the light as long as we use LOVE to takes us to eternity.
The song lyrics "You Raise Me Up" by Josh Groban really do lift me up!
Recently I attended a visitation for a colleague of mine, Dr. Kelly Young. Kelly was a beautiful person. She was wonderful, very kind, very considerate.
Ironically dying of cancer as an oncologist. I went to the visitation. I had not met the family before. Two children in High School and a Husband John.
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Recently I attended a visitation for a colleague of mine, Dr. Kelly Young. Kelly was a beautiful person. She was wonderful, very kind, very considerate.
Ironically dying of cancer as an oncologist. I went to the visitation. I had not met the family before. Two children in High School and a Husband John.
As soon as I made eye contact with her husband and I was able to let him know that I had been through the same, his eyes locked onto mine and I was happy at that moment that I can give him, Letter to God because I know that Kelly would have wanted me to do that. And so i'm confident that in time that message within those chapters will mean something to him.
I was glad that I went and I believe that times of grief and loss we need to surround ourselves with others, and I’ll try to do what we can to help lighten their burden.
I had a patient who said, “why am I always getting walked all over” and I said because sometimes you're spending too much time in that lowly part of humble.
I ask myself did christ ever experience lowliness? I’m sure he must have. Like when he was facing the authorities and he wouldn't answer any questions or maybe when he was on the cross and and he looked down at his feet only to see a precious few while thousands cursed him and yet he died for us anyway. So at times when he said, “father why have you forsaken me,” maybe he felt alone and maybe he felt lowly and maybe he had some moments of doubt and despair. And especially when he refused to talk and people were challenging him, maybe he had that portion of him that experienced a little lowliness.
And the truth is, perhaps we all do.
I’d always been asking what does it take to be inspirational and it's come upon me that you must tell the truth. Only the truth will set you free and you just can't be inspirational if you're a liar. At some point someone finds out.
You must speak the truth.
Watch and listen to Dr. Marvin Faulkner's latest podcast, The Sermon of Truth.
]]>This has been a hard year for the United States of America, but today we can push forward into the light. The country has survived such horrible things, but the truth is we are still here. We are Americans, so we need to get back to our true selves. We need to get back to our love for our country, our people as we are all equal.
Look around and you’ll see that there’s plenty of pockets of love. People do care. People do help each other. So let’s let go of the past and focus on the good. We need to continue to have respect for one another, to have integrity, tolerance and love. We need to reach out to anyone and everyone and just give love.
Remember the United States is not dividable. We come from a position of strength. We are still the strongest country. Still the best and we are going to remain that way. So, go give love and push forward into the light.
Watch and listen to Dr. Marvin Faulkner's latest podcast, Pushing Forward Into The Light.
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Our country has been through a lot lately — Trump’s failure as a leader, a pandemic with mounting economic stress on all Americans, and the tremendous impact of harmful systemic racism.
Untold acts of racism take place daily across America. The problem with systemic racism, is that it goes unnoticed and becomes part of daily life. How can we change this? I didn’t even think systemic racism existed. I thought we had pockets of racism. But, I was completely unaware or perhaps in full denial. Now I can see. I’m aware, and it takes acknowledgment in order to heal and create change. That awareness creates a positive change, it creates “pockets of love” where people don’t see color, where people are one, equal.
It easy to focus on anger with all that’s going on in the world. It’s easy to become negative and want to give up on our country. But God wants us to love. God wants us not to hate. God wants this to be a better place.
Our leaders need to rise up and lead. We as Americans need to push forward to change the system. We have to stand up and speak out. We need to create equality but most importantly, we need to LOVE.
Watch and listen to Dr. Marvin Faulkner's latest podcast, Pockets of Love.
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The cost of hatred is high. It will cost you everything; family, business and even your life.
Many people get overwhelmed by anger because their emotions are entangled with abstract thoughts. Their anger becomes hatred of someone or something and finally turns to self-hatred.
The cost of hatred is not limited to this world. We are all going to die. Some people say there is no God. I say without a God and supreme being we are doomed. What else do we have to believe in?
It’s easier to hate, but only LOVE can heal hatred. When you choose LOVE it makes all the difference. A house is just a house, but it takes LOVE to make it a home.
We need help. We need prayer. We need God. We need God to smile upon The United States of America again. We need a rising. And only LOVE will do that. And only light will take out the darkness.
Love conquers all.
Listen to Dr. Marvin Faulkner's Inspirational Messages Podcast Now: The Cost of Hatred
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Listen to the latest podcast by Dr. Marvin Faulkner. These fireside inspirational chats follow his inspirational writings. Delivering a message of hope and victory. The intention is to inspire others to be the best they can be. In doing so the choice of LOVE over HATE can and will bring America back to the greatest nation on this planet. Listen Now!
]]>Kansas City, MO – Marvin Faulkner is the author of Letter to God, published in August 2019, a story of struggling to stay in the light without letting darkness overcome us.
“Letter to God is a memoir of a common person, myself,” says Faulkner. “I laid myself out there, the good, bad, and ugly of my life, with the overall theme that the power of love can transcend pain. The book expresses our deeper need for love to surpass the temptation to be bitter despite what life has thrown at us, and that we can choose love over bitterness, resentment, remorse, hatred.”
Letter to God recounts the passing of Faulkner’s wife from cancer and his family’s journey toward emotional and spiritual healing.
“My vision for this book is it can be a life-changer for thousands people,” says Faulkner. “I think it's a powerful message. I found it during a period of intense meditation. There were times I felt like I had some spiritual guidance helping me along the writing of the message."
Letter to God follows a shorter book Faulkner wrote in 2017 entitled Days Gone By, a collection of humorous short stories based on true-to-life experiences with spiritual overtones.
“I once wore the uniform of a United States Army officer, Medical Corps, but what I'm proud of is the uniform of a single parent and that I had the privilege to raise three beautiful children. I feel blessed and proud while I was here that I was able to get a grasp on what love was and meant. And because of that I feel confident that when I take my last breath, I'll hear ‘Well done.’"
For more information on Marvin Faulkner, visit www.marvinfaulkner.com
]]>I am so grateful for all the readers that have read and enjoyed Days Gone By: Reflecting on Life's Meaning with Humor & Hope.
I am excited to share that Days Gone By is now an Amazon Bestseller, mentioned here in this article!
Thank you again to all the readers.
God bless,
Marvin
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